You’d think someone would notice if their spouse wasn’t wearing their wedding band. Every day for three-plus years!
Then again, here’s Bob’s story…
So, Bob is a golfer and several years ago was in some sort of tournament. “I would put my wedding band in the pocket of my golf bag before I played,” Bob said. “It affected my grip.”
I’m not a golfer, but this sounds plausible.
“At the end of the tournament, I received the door prize of a new golf bag during the post tournament festivities, which included my fair share of adult beverages,” Bob said. “I asked the caddy at the golf club to transfer everything in my current golf bag to my new golf bag and…”
Yep. This story is headed exactly where you think it’s handed.
“Fast forward a week, a month, and I notice I don’t have my wedding band,” the not-so-observant Bob said. The old golf bag was long gone. Hey, did anyone out there ever get a golf bag at Goodwill or a thrift shop and find a wedding band in the pocket? If so, it’s Bob’s band. Contact me and we’ll get it back to him.
OK, back to our story…
Miraculously, Heather “didn’t say anything,” Bob said. He’s safe. Or so he thought.
Fast forward again, three naked-ring fingered years, and Bob somehow gets a gig as a catalogue model for Wolf Ovens. It’s a company that makes high-end ovens, which is why I’ve never heard of them.
Bob is part of some group shots at the modelling gig. I can imagine a bunch of good-looking people gathered around a gleaming Wolf, oohing and aahing at a bubbling pot of pasta sauce bubbling away atop all those glorious flames. Darn, I’m getting hungry. Anyway, they need a close-up shot of a man’s hands for a photo, check out the digits of all the male models and…
“Yep, he chooses me to be the hand model,” Bob said, adding they gave him a prop wedding band to wear.
Fast forward eight months and, finally, the new Wolf Oven catalogue starring Bob and his hands is available and…
“We look at the hand-modelling pic and Heather says, ‘that’s not your wedding band!’” Bob said. “I’m busted.”
He told me this story recently during lunch. I looked, and sure enough, Bob really does have beautiful hands (that’s them in the photo). They’re exquisite. Insert George Costanzo joke here. And, for extra points: What was the name of the famous hand model in the Seinfeld puffy shirt episode whose career was ruined because he wasn’t master of his domain, over and over again until his hands became clenched into deformed claws?
I looked again, and Bob wasn’t wearing a wedding band. Turns out he never got a new one.
“How’d you get away with that?” I asked.
“Heather trusts me,” Bob said.
Answer: Ray McKigney.
Here’s the link to my previous post on great lost wedding band stories. If you have a good one … well, what the heck are you waiting for? Email me and tell me all about it. email@example.com