Here’s a CNN headline from earlier today: Trump’s Absolutely Disastrous Week.
Are you kidding me? This has been an absolutely fabulous week for the Prez. He and his base relished and rejoiced in all the dysfunctional insanity and free, non-stop publicity, TV coverage and obsessiveness over all things Trump. It was all Trump all the time, which is pretty much his philosophy for governing. Me, me, me. And it’s working. It was such a great week that Monday, Feb. 19, is Trump Day. Some call it Presidents Day, but let’s be realistic: Every day is your day when you’re the Donald. And in charge.
The fake-news CNN article “claims” it was a disastrous week for Trump because he “was buffeted on virtually every front — the Russia investigation, issues of his personal conduct prior to becoming president, staffing at the White House, crisis response…”
Again: Come on, are you kidding me?
Allegations he had an affair with a porn star is a tremendous publicity strategy and proof of his amazing virility. It’s not like a normal man can have sex with a porn star. Could you? I doubt it. Could I? No way. I wouldn’t even know where to begin. You have to be a totally macho, skyscraper developing, golf champion, intellectually awesome kind of guy to have an affair with a porn star. Especially if you’re married to someone else at the time. And she just had a baby. I don’t even think George Clooney could pull this off. Only the Donald. And maybe Charlie Sheen.
And remember how his grab ‘em by the you know what moment propelled him to the White House? This one’s even better. I can’t wait for the next awesomely inappropriate revelation about the Donald. Whatever it is, it will surely guarantee a second term.
The Rob Porter debacle?
Again: What debacle?
It only proves that nobody other than Trump can lead this country. Everyone else in his administration is a lesser human being and Trump should just fire everyone and run the whole damn White House, country and world by himself. In fact, who needs a government at all when we have Trump. He’s already fixed healthcare, immigration, the environment and taxes. I mean come on, if all this stuff benefits billionaires, it just has to be good for the rest of us, right? I’m more than happy to pay $350 more a month for my Affordable Care Act coverage this year, and am totally not worried it could go away in 2018. I just won’t get sick. It’s really that simple. So, stop all your whining about not having health coverage – and just don’t get sick. Like Trump. He’s never been sick in his entire life. Except for the bone spur thing, but the Donald conquered that with pure tenacity and willpower and can now walk at least 30 yards at a time – maybe more if a porn star is at the other end of the bedroom.
Plus, the Prez did eventually say domestic violence was bad, really bad, after several days of debate about whether or not he thought domestic violence was bad. What a great PR strategy by the Donald. It put domestic violence – and Trump – in the spotlight 24/7 (even with the Olympics going on) and his all-powerful, brilliantly delivered 7-second condemnation of domestic violence has pretty much ended domestic violence forever! See, another problem solved.
I could go on and on, but I think you get the point: It was a great week, a tremendous week for Trump. With many more to follow. He’ll have so many more great weeks we’ll actually get sick of all his great weeks.