I’m the No. 1 Seinfeld Expert in all of Ohio! According to QuizUp.

seinfeld1The occupation of the Bubble Boy’s father?

He delivered Yoo-hoo.

 Cousin Jeffrey’s favorite animal?

Duh, the leopard. He likes the spots.

 This is too darn easy. Instead of giving you the question, I’ll give you two answers and let you come up with the questions: Cherry Binaca … and $98.

 Of course, by now you’ve figured out these questions are all about Seinfeld, the show about nothing that nevertheless provided us with a ton of very specific information about Jerry, George, Kramer, Elaine and scores more characters. And while I can’t remember what I ate for breakfast yesterday or the name of what’s his face who I used to work with for years at the Dispatch, I do know that the actor Brian Reddy was the high talker, and Jerry lived at 129 W. 81st St. Hell, I lived in New York for a year, back in the 80s, and I’m not sure what street I lived on. It was W. 107th I think. No wait, I think it was W. 105th. The street number? Don’t have a clue.

 And now, finally, I’ve found an outlet for my encyclopedic Seinfeld knowledge: The Seinfeld trivia category on QuizUp. And, I’m No. 1 in all of Ohio! OK, I was No. 1 a few months back, but now I’m currently No. 2. That’s only because Jeff has played 12,200 games and I’ve “only” played 514. I have lots of free time, but Jeff seems to have a lot more. Not that there’s anything wrong with it.

 Here’s how the QuizUp trivia game works: You log onto the app, hit the Seinfeld button (there are lots of other categories) and “they” find you a random opponent somewhere in the world. There are Seinfeld fanatics everywhere. I just played the No. 1 in Croatia (and crushed him!), someone from Singapore, Indonesia and three recent games were against British Seinfeld fanatics. A lot of Brits seem to be into Seinfeld. I’ve only lost one game in the last 50 and that was to Mike from Towson who’s No. 1 in Maryland.seinfeld2

There are six multiple-choice questions – and you can score up to 20 points per question, depending on how quickly you tap in the right answer. Then, there’s a bonus round worth 40 points.

 There’s a complicated point-accumulation system that determines the state, country and global rankings. It’s so complicated that I don’t fully understand the system, but it seems that the more you play – even if you don’t win at a super-high percentage – the higher up you go in the state, country and global rankings. I’d play more, but hey, you can only go to the bathroom so many times a day.

 Brennen Ireland, from California, has played 32,300 games and is the all-time No. 1 in the world in Seinfeld, ahead of Booster hater from California (62,400 games) and Bugman07 from Texas (28,100 games). How is it even possible to play 62,400 games? It takes about 90 seconds to play a game, which means Booster hater has spent the equivalent of 65 entire days playing Seinfeld.

BTW: Cherry Binaca is what Elaine sprayed in Crazy Joe Davola’s face, and $98 is how much George had to pay the video store after he lost Rochelle, Rochelle, a young girl’s strange, erotic journey from Milan to Minsk. But, you already knew that.

 BTWA (the A is for “again’): I’m a bit obsessed with Seinfeld, as you could probably tell. So expect Jerry and the gang to be a recurring theme on this blog. Stay tuned for my close encounter with the Soup Nazi.

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